2016's best tweets about parenting
2016 is almost over, so here are this year's best tweets on parenting. May the next year be just as fun, you guys!
I tell my kids that it's important to learn pointless algebra because someday they may have to help their kids learn pointless algebra.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) July 28, 2016
My youngest is being tested for the gifted program at his elementary school and my other son thinks his toothbrush is haunted.— annoyed eric (@ericsshadow) March 25, 2016
My 2-year-old handed me a candy bar.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) November 8, 2016
I hugged her for finally learning how to share.
Turns out she just wanted me to open it.
[two of my four kids burst into tears]— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) May 25, 2016
Random lady walking by: Why are you crying, girls?
Me: It's cute that you think there's a reason.
Me: I think I ate too much.— Aaron Aryanpur (@aaroncomedian) November 26, 2016
4yo: Yeah, but not just today.
Kids' ears are amazing. It takes 7 times to hear "Pick up that toy" yet they can hear a bag of chips open at 50 yards.— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) May 30, 2016
My 14yo made fun of me this morning because I had to go to work while he had a snow day, so I changed the wifi password.— Rock (@TheMichaelRock) February 9, 2016
I don't care how cute your kid is. When you wake up in the middle of the night and see them standing next to your bed, they are terrifying.— Wendy S. (@maughammom) August 1, 2016
[looking up at the night sky]— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) February 9, 2016
Me: You can make a wish on any star you want.
5-year-old: Which one is the Death Star?
My 7yo is mad at me because my b-day is closer to his friend's b-day than it is to his, in case you wondered what parenthood is like.— Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) November 10, 2016
I never knew how long it took a human to fall asleep until I had kids. In case you're wondering it's 2 hours, 3 cups of water, & 18 books.— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) May 31, 2016
If you're not prepared to spend 1/3 of your day "watching this," then you aren't ready to be a parent.— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) August 4, 2016
4yo: "Daaaaddy! I need your help! I'm in the bathroom! I tried to practice wiping my own butt!"— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) May 17, 2016
Me: "How'd it go?"
4yo: "Not too good."
6yo: I don't like being by myself!— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) December 8, 2016
Me: I do.
6yo: When were you alone?
M: The last time was about six years ago.
*stares son down*
There are actually only two stages of parenthood: having children, and having children who can reach things on countertops.— Cray at Home Ma (@cray_at_home_ma) October 12, 2016