Why do some single women get involved with married men?
Women are often judged for getting into this kind of affairs and they get blamed for breaking marriages. But what stands behind a single woman's decision to get involved with a married man?
1. She believes it's true love.
Love doesn't hit you instantly. Love grows. She didn't just meet a guy and thought to herself "I love this guy and I'll do anything to make him mine." Their relationship grew. Their love grew.
2. She believes she's doing the right thing.
He told her that his wife was making him unhappy, and painted this horrible image of an evil witch he can't run away from. So she becomes his escape. She feels like she's the only one who can make him happy. She strongly believes that she's doing the right thing.
3. It's all about passion.
He's not the grumpy husband when he's with her. He's passionate. When they are together he is 100% present. He had to sneak out to see her, so he isn't playing Candy Crush when he's with her. He isn't watching the game while she cleans the house. They don't have to fight about money or kids. The only thing they share is passion.
4. She doesn't want something serious.
Sometimes the "other woman" isn't looking for a commitment. Married men are less demanding. She doesn't have to cook or to iron his shirts. She isn't expected to stay at home just because he's too tired to go out clubbing. She doesn't have to put up with his Mom or his annoying friends. All she needs to do is have fun with the guy and when it ends, it ends.
Should we judge them?
Especially when you're not in the middle of it, it's best not to judge anyone. Nobody ever knows the full story, not even the mistress. For all she knows, her boyfriend HAS to remain married to this evil witch who makes his life miserable. She doesn't see the wife suffering. She doesn't see the kids suffering. She doesn't even see herself suffering until common sense kicks in. And eventually, it does.
Christmas will come and he'll post pictures of his perfect family on facebook. Summer will come and he'll go on vacation with his wife. Her parents will want to meet him, but she can't introduce him, because who knows when they'll bump into him and his wife at the supermarket? His wife will get pregnant again, even though he swore things were over between the two of them.
In the end, all she has left is a broken heart
Whenever we break up with someone, we have friends to comfort us. But the "other woman" usually doesn't. Most of her friends don't even know about her affair. The few who do will often say "You must have known what you were getting into". While he has the wife to get back to, she has no one. And she will feel awful to be left for someone who was supposed to be an "evil witch".
A piece of advice
• If you're a single woman looking for love, stay away from the drama and complications that come with this kind of relationship. If you fall in love with a married guy, wait until he divorces his wife. Most men never do.
• If you have a friend who's already in this situation, be there for her when it ends. Because it will, eventually.
• Don't judge. We never know the full story. If there is someone to blame, it's the man who disrespects both his wife and his girlfriend by lying, cheating and sneaking around.
• Whether you are the wife or the other woman, know this:
You deserve better!