Narcissists Will Say Things Like: 'Nobody else will ever love you.'
Here are the most common things they say
You might think a narcissist is someone overly confident, or a person who feels well in their skin, but narcissism is different from loving yourself. So much different. Because, in reality, narcissists have low self-esteem, and in order to feel good about themselves, they need to make someone else miserable. That's just how they are. One of the things that define narcissism is that they lack empathy. They can't put themselves in your shoes. They can't feel how you feel. They can't feel sympathy or compassion. And they can't change.
A narcissist will enter your life, turn it upside down, then leave like it didn't matter. You'll never know what hit you. You'll just stay there, broken-hearted, feeling like there's no way you can ever heal. There's only ONE way to win with a narcissist, and that is: not to play.
If you've ever dealt with a narcissist, whether it was a romantic relationship, friendship, or a professional connection, you'll recognize the behavior and phrases noted here. That's because they all follow a pattern. They all act the same. So here's a warning for all those who recognize these signs. Break it off in the early stages, because narcissists can and will make your life a living hell.
A relationship with a narcissist goes through several phases.
1. The idealization stage
In the beginning, when you start connecting, they make you feel like you've just met your soulmate. They pretend to like everything you like and act like you have tons of things in common. It feels like meeting your other half. The relationship moves quickly, because they push it, and you don't resist it. Why would you? You've just met your soulmate. This happens with romance and friendship, too. Two weeks after you've met, you're best friends or living together. So, this should be your first alarm. If a relationship with someone you've recently met seems to be evolving too fast, slow things down and see what happens.
Things narcissist say in the beginning:
"You're my soul mate."
"I've never met anyone like you."
"You are my best friend."
"I've never felt this way for anyone."
"You 're the only one who understands me."
"Destiny has brought us together."
"You're so kind, creative, smart, beautiful, and perfect."
"Our love is all we need"
"We don't need anyone else, we have each other."
"You are the only person I need in my life."
These are things we say, but rarely to people we've just met. While it's great to hear that you're amazing, loved, important, if this comes shortly after connecting with someone, you may be dealing with a narcissist.
You may think "this can't work", but it does! It always works! A narcissist will love bomb you, spoil you, treat you like you're the most precious thing in this world until they hook you. They'll give you money, presents, compliment you, and make grand gestures, just to attract you.
2. The devaluation stage
After you've fallen in love with them, stage two begins. The compliments stop, and so do presents and loving words. Your 'soul-mate' is replaced with their true self. Compliments become insults. All that treatment becomes constant put-down, criticism, and apparent innocent jokes that are meant to shatter your confidence.
But don't worry, they'll say these things in a 'nice way', as a 'joke', or like someone else said them. Here are some of the things narcissists say in the second phase:
"You're too sensitive, I was just making a joke."
"No wonder you have no friends since you're always so defensive"
"My friends hate you, but I always defend you."
"You're so insecure!"
"What's wrong with you?"
"Who's more important, me or your friends?"
"Why are you crying? Are you trying to manipulate me?"
"You like that? It's awful, how can you like it?"
"You should find better friends. Can't you see your friends aren't good enough for you?"
"Your family doesn't like me. You probably shouldn't see them as much."
If you ever challenge them, ask them why they're acting this way, you'll get plenty of explanations. And in none of them, it will be their fault.
"I'm like this because my parents were abusive."
"My ex cheated on me."
"Love is hard, and we need to work on it, both of us."
"Everyone abandons me."
"I'm acting this way because I'm scared of losing you."
"You need to stop being so selfish/careless/busy with other people."
"It's your fault."
And from here on, it will only get worse.
3. The discard phase
When they get sick of you, they haven't got anything new to gain, or they're simply bored, they'll begin to prepare for the breakup, which they are planning to 'win'. In this last phase, the insult will become awful, and they'll throw so much venom and poison at you, that you won't know what's hit you.
"No wonder everybody hates you. You don't deserve to be loved!"
"You're a bad person."
"Nobody else will ever love you."
"I'm the best you'll ever have."
"Have fun being alone for the rest of your life."
"You did this to yourself."
When you're dealing with a narcissist, things won't ever get better. You will never return to phase one. Things will only get worse. From this point on, violence can and might come next. So do yourself a favor, and leave them at the first sign.